It is never easy not giving in to your kids. They will know what to do in order to get you to do what they want, if you let them. As they get older, they will get to know what to do that will enable you to give in to them and you need to be able to resist that at times. Of course, it is okay to treat and spoil your children and taking them to the park or going swimming with them will be beneficial to you all but sometimes you will need to learn to know how to say ‘no’ such as when they want you to keep buying them sweets or more expensive items. Here are a few tips to help you.
Explain the Rules
There might be certain situations where you know that you are likely to get pestered a lot. For example, if you are going to the supermarket, you may know that the children will ask you for sweets. If this is the case and you do not want to get them any then explain the rules before you go. Tell them that while they can look at things you will not be buying them any sweets. Try to avoid the aisle entirely and perhaps let them choose something different instead such as fruit or veg. It is worth telling them why you do not want them to have any as well. It could be that you cannot afford them, you think they are unhealthy or something else. If they are old enough to pester you, they are old enough to understand reason.
Reason With Them
If they try to argue with you then see if you can get them to see if from your point of view. Explain why you are restricting them but also try to get them to imagine that they were you and whether they would restrict their children in this way. They may claim that they would not but it can be worth a try. You also need to work hard not to argue with them. They cannot force you to do what they want and you do not need to argue with them. Once you have explained then that should be the end of it. If you get drawn into a debate then they may try to batter you down and you do not want that. So just explain your position and then say nothing more about it.
Do not Give in too Often
If you give in to it a lot, then they will try it over and over again. It is not always easy to stay strong though. Try your hardest though and think about whether there are techniques that you can use that will make it easier for you. It might be that you do not take them with you shopping and then they cannot ask for you to buy things that you do not want to get them. You can also just try saying ‘no’ and then not arguing. If you try to reason for too long, they may try to talk you out of your point of view.
Explain once and then do not keep rising to their arguments. It can be tricky but it could just work and therefore be worth a try. You could even keep a note of how often you have given in to them and when, perhaps in a journal or diary and if it is getting too often, you will be able to try harder to stop doing it. Another tip could be to delay. Tell them that you will think about it and talk to them about it later. This will give you time to prepare. You will then be able to go back to them when you are ready and you have a good reason ready and are in the right mindset not to be trodden down by them.
Get Them to Ask Mum
If their Mum is stronger than you then you could send them to her every time. You will then know that she will not allow it and then you will not have to get involved in a long discussion or argument with them about it. It is something that you will need to discuss with her first though. You need to make sure that she is happy with that as it could end up making her look like the ‘bad guy’ and she may not be happy with that. However, she may be perfectly happy to be the strict parent and be in control. It may be that you will only need help with this some of the time and you may get the opportunity to discuss it with her each time to check.